12 HABITS FOR BEING UNSTOPPABLE
I know you’re probably thinking “who is this fitness chick and why should I listen to her – it’s easy for her, she owns a fitness company, has her own fitness product – it’s a no brainer she’s in shape and has been unstoppable in her fitness career. It’s her damn job!”
And that’s where you would be oh so wrong, not on the part about it being my job but on the “it’s easy for her” part. Trust me, nothing could be further from the truth.
There has been nothing easy about how I ended up where I am today (and btw I’m not even close to being finished) compared to where I started.
So as I sat to write this blog on how to Be Unstoppable – I came from my own experience of basically climbing out of what could have and should have been a not so pretty outcome for me given what I started with! Had it not been for these 12 habits I developed to help keep me on track and continuously point me to the end zone – I certainly might not be someone with any credibility to write about this topic today!
Not to be melodramatic but let me set the stage and give you just a little background on this “fitness chick”.
Fade in: A small room in a very rural town in Wisconsin some 20+ years ago…
I look around and all I see are fearful, angry, blank and a few hopeful faces. The walls are an off white – no make that a pale shade of yellow, my butt is already sore from the standard town hall style chair I am sitting on and the air smells of day old burnt coffee mixed with cigarettes – punctuated by various chewing gum flavors.
My heart is beating quickly but not unlike the same rapid beat I am used to after every first line of cocaine I have ever done up until that moment.
The signage at the front of the room reads Welcome To Cocaine Anonymous: Keep Coming Back – It Works If You Work It. Keep It Simple. And so on…
The nicely put together woman leading the group looks in my direction and nods for me to introduce myself. I stand, then sit, then slowly stand again.
Hi, my name is Rebecca and I am a cocaine addict. I sit. Silent. Embarrassed. Empty.
And with that first uttering of admitting my addiction to cocaine, I began my gradual journey back to being among the “living” because basically for the 6 years prior – day in and day out, sometimes endless days in a row without a healthy meal or more than an hour or two of sleep, I can safely say I was among the “dead”, the “zombie” like, leading a life with only one sole purpose – one sole mission.
That of scoring more cocaine so I could keep my high going. And let me add – it was an impossible mission!
I like to say cocaine stole 6 years of my life – but if I’m being really honest, I gave cocaine those 6 years. And how that happened…well that’s the subject of the book I will write one day but I will do my best to summarize and then nicely thread it all back to the topic at hand of Being Unstoppable!
I suppose in retrospect being a child who grew up in the “system” so to speak, the system – being welfare, social services and foster care on and off until I was 12, I truly never felt that I belonged anywhere or with anyone. I sort of felt like the kid that people “had” to take care of until mommy was better (although mommy never would get better).
My younger brother and I played the “bouncing families” game for a few years and then finally at the age of 12 when the father in the current family we were with took to beating my brother every time he got a little wound up – (which was often – he was a hyperactive child) I couldn’t take it anymore and I called our social worker begging to have us moved to yet another home.
So unfortunately for us at that time in Nashville Tennessee (yep, had the whole southern accent going on for awhile) none of the foster care families wanted two kids – they would gladly take one of us but we wanted to stay together – so calls were made to our non present “dads” (we have different fathers) to step up to the plate.
My brother’s father was his biological dad but my “father figure” happened to be a man whom my mom married after I was born (my bio dad at this time was unknown) and divorced by the time I was 2 years old.
He had stayed in my life to some degree over the years (cards on holidays – a visit every now and then) and while he had no biological ties to me at all – and lucky for me he just wanted to give me some semblance of stability I suppose.
I say lucky for me for two reasons, one being that out of my entire childhood, my time with him was the only time I felt a sense of belonging to some degree and the second reason is he ended up playing a pivotal role in my life by being the person I turned to when I hit rock bottom in my cocaine addiction days.
After spending a few normal years living in a stable home with my adopted family I moved to California and left that stability behind. I was 16 years old and asked my Dad to let me go out to Cali to live with my mom. And since he really wasn’t my biological father I guess he felt he had to say yes. Probably not the best idea given my mom was still not able to really play the role of mom – in truth, I think she really just never wanted to be a mother.
I lived with her for a few months and then realized my mom and I didn’t get along at all and I moved out at 17, got two jobs to support myself and finished up high school graduating early because the one thing I did have going for myself was I loved to learn and did very well in school.
But unfortunately after graduating I fell in with the wrong crowd and there really was no one steering me in the right direction since my mom really wasn’t a “mom” and my dad had his own family back in Wisconsin to attend to. That was my reality.
I started my downfall with cocaine around that time and as I mentioned above – it took 6 years for me to hit my bottom. And when I did, boy did I ever!
So hi again, it’s me, the “fitness chick” – now you know one of my secrets I have always been afraid to share publicly – it’s ok when it’s anonymous inside the 4 walls in CA or AA meeting rooms or amongst close friends who you feel won’t judge you – but sharing it with you…the whole darn Internet and cyberspace, that’s a whole other sort of vulnerability – leaving me open to judgment and who knows what else.
The mind is a funny thing – isn’t it? I have created this whole story in my head of what would happen if I ever were to talk about my cocaine using days, the days my boyfriend and I barricaded the doors of our dingy hotel room because we were so paranoid we thought the FBI was coming to get us. YIKES!
Or the day I had an UZI (with a silencer on it) pointed at my temple (like a scene right out of Scarface) because my then roommate owed Columbians dealers over 30K for a kilo.
I can’t even begin to recount the numerous bad and seemingly far fetched but true stories that I lived through during that 6 year period of my life – well I can, but not here – in this article! I really just want to be sure you understand I am not some random “fit chick” espousing cliché mantras that I found on Instagram.
No, I really, truly understand and fully believe in the messages I choose to get behind. They have meaning to me – they can become mantras that can be the force that will lead you onto the right path – the less painful path and the path that can ultimately lead you to a life of success and joy whether relating to your fitness goals and/or career aspirations.
And to be clear, I don’t share my past to get sympathy or pity but simply to illustrate that we all can choose our destiny at any moment in our lives, we can choose how things turn out once we are old enough to have free will (obviously as a child I had no control over where I lived or how I was raised). It comes down to simply making a decision and then committing to that decision.
So today, I don’t look at my past as horrible or sad; rather I am grateful for all of it as it gave me an opportunity to teach myself that I can overcome any circumstances once I decide and commit to do it. It taught me to Be Unstoppable in spite of any odds.
It also led me to my purpose – my mission in life, that of inspiring others! So I say thank you to my past quite often because it shaped me into the person I am today.
Phew! Ok and without any further ado, I shall now get back to the topic of this post and that is Being Unstoppable!
Here are the 12 habits that have been most instrumental in my life in helping me remain unstoppable. Whether it’s a fitness/health goal or a career goal. I hope you find this list useful and will put them into practice ASAP.
1. Passion VS. Payday
Re-examine the thing you have chosen to be unstoppable about. Whether it’s a fitness goal, career goal, personal goal or financial goal. There must be some passion attached to the why you want it part of the equation. Your why is the most important element of your goal and with a strong enough why – the passion usually accompanies it!
Since the journey to your end goal may be long, choosing something you’re passionate about will ensure you enjoy yourself along the way. When you are doing that thing that lights you up inside the money will follow. The universe will always support a joyful passionate person more often than the person chasing money with zero passion attached.
And finally, don’t pursue the thing you think you SHOULD pursue unless you don’t mind living a life you may one day regret. Find your passion and do everything in your power to set yourself up to live and breathe it every day.
2. Do the work
Basically we all know what it will take to achieve our goal or dream etc. Whether it’s a weight loss goal or a career goal – we know what we have to do and this habit simply refers to showing up and doing the work. Don’t complain about it. Don’t neglect it. Just show up and do it!
3. Choose your “crew” wisely
Who you hang out with matters, if we truly are all energy then the energy you surround yourself with is critical. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who support your goals and dreams and make you want to be a better person. And by all means, dump the duds! Clean house of friends who drain your energy, who are constant B&C’ers aka bitchers and complainers (check out my 3 Bitch Rule Blog here about this topic.
It’s important to know when something needs to shift in your plan. Don’t be so attached to your goal that you can’t see when something isn’t working for you. Be open to the ebb and flow of life as it pertains to your goals and adjust accordingly!
5. Celebrate Your Success
The little successes lead to the bigger ones so don’t discount them and find as many opportunities as you can to celebrate. The vibration of celebrating and being in gratitude will allow that much more success to come towards you. If you are a fan of the Law Of Attraction like me then this habit is MUST. Celebrate the hell out of things no matter how small!
6. Failing is Not Failing It’s Learning
How many times did Thomas Edison “fail” at creating light, the phonograph and the motion picture camera? According to him, 10,000 times – but also according to him those weren’t failures – they were simply 10,000 ways that did not work which ultimately led him to the ones that did! Look at your failures as opportunities to learn and grow.
7. Everyday is a New Day to Start Over
This sort of goes with my mantra of “forgive often” – no matter what happens today – shake that s*&% off and look forward to a chance to rally tomorrow. Each and every new day is an opportunity to be better – do better! So as the saying goes Carpe Diem!
8. Do 3 Every Day
Every day do at least 3 goal related tasks (preferably more but never less) that further you on your path towards your goal – whether it’s to reach out to 3 new business contacts, or reading an article related to your goal, doing research on a related subject and writing one blog. Whatever it is, each day commit to taking 3 action steps towards your goal.
9. Do 3 Every Week
Every week do 3 NEW things. I have found that every time I try something new whether for my mind, body or spirit I am stimulated creatively and intellectually even when I found it was something I may never want to do again. Your brain loves to be stimulated, as does your spirit – in fact, it craves it! Research now shows that we can rewire our brain circuitry through learning new skills especially as we age. Check out this article about how this works.
Surprising yourself with new things and stepping outside of your comfort zone always sparks a reaction internally and this will keep your drive and passion for your goals fresh.
10. Find Mentors or Advisors and Reach Out
I have done this my entire career and it has always proved helpful. While it can be scary and vulnerable to reach out and ask for help or guidance from someone you don’t know – most people are humbled and flattered by the request! I feel it is our human nature for all people to want to help others. It’s usually comes down to whether or not they have time. But it never hurts to ask.
Find some gurus in your field of interest and start a dialogue. Use LinkedIn as a first resource as it is most business friendly. A second and third option are Twitter and Instagram which can also be a good way to start a conversation. This of course will depend on how large their following is –but it is certainly worth a try.
11. Don’t focus on the Competition
It’s about you and you…no one else! Who cares what everybody else has or is doing – it’s not your job to focus on them, that only steals your precious energy from focusing on YOU. Yes, it’s great to have a competitive spirit – I certainly do, BUT when that competitive spirit takes away from your forward momentum that’s when it needs to be put in check. Stay on YOU!
12. Recharge Your Batteries Frequently
While this one comes at the end of the list it should be at the top because without this habit in place none of the rest are possible – at least not in a fully inspired way. You don’t want to be that person that is extremely talented and passionate yet too burnt out to shine!
Do the things that rejuvenate your spirit and soul as often as you need to. Those things are different for everyone but we all have a short list of what recharges our batteries successfully each and every time. So stay charged up!
And there you have it — my checklist for being unstoppable! My journey has been interesting to say the least but the one thing I have always been able to count on is myself and staying committed to my mission no matter how or where I started!
I hope you find this list helpful on days when you throw your hands up and say, “what’s it all for” or “really, another road block why should I bother”. Just keep – keeping on, letting nothing get in your way and at the very least even just the mere pursuit of your goals and dreams will keep a fire lit inside you.
Please feel free to share any habits you have that help keep you Unstoppable!
PS…a wonderful song to accompany this blog is by Sia (my current favorite artist) and it’s appropriately titled “Unstoppable”. If you haven’t heard it yet, check it out here
And remember as I always say: Move More. Eat Better. Forgive Often.
Rebecca Kordecki, Creator of Booty Slide® and the owner of RK FIT, has enjoyed a robust 18-year career as a personal trainer, fitness expert, fitness model and on camera host. She currently resides in West Hollywood.v